And So Begins My Journey Through The Illusion
Who am I without my delusions?
The world is in turmoil. So much uncertainty that the unreal has become real. The lies truths. Waking dreams. I recognize I’m not making sense, but what sense is there in the world?
Unable to comprehend the facts from the lies, I fled to my haven in the mountains to reflect and find my truth. What I uncovered hidden in the core of me is beyond comprehension, unless your heart and mind are wide open. An epiphany found me while cleaning a bathroom. Epiphanies don’t hang around till you’re meditating. By definition, epiphany’s wait for nothing.
I was listening to a series by David Icke, who was explaining his belief that we are all living in a hologram. My spiritual path leans toward Buddhism, I’m aware of their philosophy. Life is merely an illusion. My brain had trouble wrapping itself around this idea, so I filed it away for future study. David Icke’s theory sounded so far out of the norm, even for someone like me that has no problem with the supernatural, that on any other occasion I would have dismissed it out of hand and stopped listening. But something he said hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe, and I started crying.
He talked about the ridicule he received from the public because of his beliefs. He expressed how people publicly laughed at him because he now saw the world differently. There is a phrase I’ve used many times, even here in a story on medium. “I see the world differently, and they call me crazy.”
Most of my adult life I have dealt with the label bipolar. I was never the same person from one day to the next. My moods were so mercurial for several reasons. I used my bipolar as an excuse. My ability to pick up on other’s emotions, I told no one. In my youth, I would not realize they weren’t mine. I got control of it eventually until a very traumatic experience a few years ago. Though, I am grateful for the lessons I learned. I had to relearn the ability to shield myself from the surrounding emotions.
Not only am I empathic, but sometimes I just know things. I perceived something coming, I just didn’t perceive what. My part to play is still unknown to me, yet it scares the hell out of me, and I ran from it for the longest time. Though still unsure of what exactly I’m supposed to do other than to be of service. I have always been my happiest when I’m needed. My need to aid others has been a reflex. I don’t think, which I admit wasn’t the smartest thing in some shady instances, I just reach out and do whatever it is in my power to do.
That reflex became my enemy during my time in Denver in a series of terrifying games created to teach me a lesson. They terrorized me for a year and they taught me to trust no one. Not even me. Though that reflex has been absent, I will find it again. I have forgiven everyone who had a part to play during that time of psychological torment. Everyone. As soon as I did that, they lost all power over me.
As is usually the case with circumstances like I endured in Denver, this was the start of my awakening. I was searching for something I didn’t understand. Fortunately, that has never stopped me.
I have since lost most of my fear. There is truth in Franklin D. Roosevelt’s quote “The only thing we have to fear is fear its self.” The day I realized the truth in that quote was a day of light and joy and freedom like I’ve never felt before. I believe it was with that realization that I was open to the message David Ike delivered to me that day.
WE ARE LIVING AN ILLUSION
Now before you think I’m about to join an end of the world cult and drink the Kool aid, I need to tell you this. I have never felt so sane and in control of all my faculties. I went right home (after I finished cleaning the house) and told my boyfriend what I had just realized was true. He didn’t laugh at me or give me the look I know all too well that says “Here we go psycobitch is joining us.” He saw that I was sane. I could see it in his eyes. Maybe I’ve been the sane one all along.
The other thing is, I follow nothing blindly. There was much truth in the episode I was watching. Yet not everything rang true. I’ve been doing some research and looking for the truth in other’s stories, and I have heard nothing that sounded true or logical yet. What I can’t deny is the synchronicities I’ve been experiencing lately. Birds cawing at the right time. A song playing on the radio that exactly matches my thoughts. Yes, these can all be coincidences, but I refuse to believe that. I know what it is to have faith. And though I might have put my faith in the wrong places before, I know that this time is different.
The biggest synchronicity happened the next day. David Icke talked about time in one of his episodes. He said time is not real. That it was a made up construct. That in reality there are endless possibilities with no restraints of time. The morning after I was reading the news, like I always do, and suddenly an article stands out like a flashing beacon. Time Is Imaginary. I’m not a mathematician but I will try to explain as well as I can. Apparently they’ve been having trouble calculating spacetime. They had been trying to calculate time as a different dimension the fourth dimension to be exact. When some mathematicians don’t believe time is a dimension at all. The only way they could make the equation work was to make time an imaginary number. Which looks something like this:√ -1=i. Not being a mathematician, I’ve never even heard of imaginary numbers till that article.
I am going on a journey of discovery. If I don’t seem to make much sense, it’s because it doesn’t make much sense to me either. I need to figure this out, so I can tell the world the truth it needs to hear. Because whether or not you believe me, we are all being led down a road that will end in our enslavement.
Look at what is happening in the world today. Listen to the politicians. Why are they refusing to help us in this time of our greatest need? Where are all the humanitarians? Have they have left us all alone? Look at the ins and outs of 5G. Look at what Wi-Fi will control. And who will control the Wi-Fi? Look at the progress of AI. Who started a committee to help the public understand AI, then disappeared from the public’s view? Who has all of our information? Who has been reading this as I write it?
Join me on this trip of human discovery. Let us find out whom we really are. Whom we are destined to be. My greatest hope is to ensure a better future for not only my children but everyone’s children.